I can’t quite believe that you’ve been gone for over a year. It seems as if it were yesterday that I heard that shocking news for the first time. I stared blankly, reading and re-reading the message. Surely, it couldn’t be true! The message didn’t sink in then. Neither did it sink in during the hour-long flight journey that followed. There were enough of your songs on my playlist to last the entire journey and then some. Time seems to pass by in the blink of an eye, yet the pain and the feeling of loss haven’t faded yet. In the words of your beloved bandmate, grief is like a wave. It comes and goes. There are highs and lows, but the dull ache remains… a reminder that the next wave is on the way.
The way you bared your demons and sung your heart out was what endeared you to us in the first place. Every time you sang about the darkness that threatened to pull you under, or about scars that would never heal, we found a voice that resonated with the voice in our heads. Little did we know, that the very thing that made us fall in love with your voice, would end up snatching you from us forever…
Yes, many of us have never met you (and never will) and yet, you are no stranger to us. Your voice has transcended many a boundary, rendering them void. Even now, if I close my eyes and concentrate really hard, I can almost hear you sing… your heavenly voice that has seen me through so much. Numb, What I’ve Done, The Catalyst, Bleed It Out, Burn it Down, Iridescent, In My Remains, A Light That Never Comes, and Lost in the Echo were and still are my go-to songs whenever I’m feeling angry or lost. Talking to Myself, Castle of Glass, In the End, Waiting for the End and Somewhere I Belong are the balm to my troubled mind. Ever since July 20, 2017, Shadow of the Day, Leave Out All the Rest, Heavy and One More Light resonate to the point where it gets too painful at times. One More Light is exactly what I and many others would sing to you, all the while hoping that, somehow, there was a way to reverse the tragedy that has happened. I have lost count of the numerous days, where I have listened to your songs all through the day, and for most of the night. I know that I am not alone, when I say that endless loops and your voice will always be one of my favourite combinations, as far as music is concerned.
Oh Chester, if you know only knew how many hearts you had touched and healed during your short stay here! It is selfish of me to say this, but the fact that we’ll never get to hear you sing any more is heartbreaking. All that you have left us with is not enough to do justice to your wonderful voice. But that’s all we’ll have. That’s the only thing that we have left to hold on to. Ironic that the very same voice that left us with a huge void in our hearts is the one that’s leading us to recovery too. I’m sorry that the very same music wasn’t enough to save you. Forgive us, for not knowing when to rescue you, when the darkness became too much for you to handle. And forgive the world, that pushed you to do the unthinkable.
Chester Charles Bennington… You dared to turn your worst memories and suffering into art… Music, that will live on forever… carrying forward your memory, healing many more hearts than you’ll ever know. I hope that you are happy, wherever you are.
We miss you…
The Earth has completed one full revolution around the Sun without you.
But in our hearts, you will always live on.
Just another one of your fans.
Image courtesy: Pixabay
© 2018 Shweta Suresh. All rights reserved.